June 3, 2013


Two things: I have roommates, and they're married now. They went to the courthouse on Friday, signed the necessary papers, then invited friends over to our house on Saturday.

I spent most of the night watching Arrested Development, playing horseshoes, and eating baby carrots. I was taunted by a small child (belonging to one of the visiting friends) who insisted that I couldn't win at horseshoes, because I was "the bad guy", and bad guys never won in the end. She determined this on the basis of my red shirt - a clear "bad guy" wardrobe choice, in her estimation.

In any case, my horeshoes record now stands at 7-1, and as the victories (and yes, that one defeat, which I did avenge - twice) piled up, the girl began to look a little sullen. She blew on my opponents' horseshoes and said "abracadabra", wishing them luck in vanquishing me. I don't know what it says about me - nothing good - that this only served as motivation, and that I engaged in some minor verbal sparring with a very young child.

I told her that this bad guy was different, that I always won in the end, and that this was not a fairy tale. I yelled and celebrated every score - certainly every ringer - and generally made an ass of myself in the pursuit of living up to my supposed villainy.

She didn't back off, however. Since her well wishes and magic tricks didn't seem to be helping, she took to more direct involvement. Namely, she tried throwing little rubber balls and bits of dirt at me as I threw, or shouting things from right behind me. But her efforts were in vain, and I finished playing only when I'd exhausted all potential challengers.

But then she had cake, watched Monsters, Inc., and - I'm sure - remembers none of this. I had an apple and just finished detailing the events on the internet. So, I think we can all agree I lost that one.

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