I am starting my new job tomorrow, and enough people are asking me if I am either excited or nervous that I feel as if I'm letting them and their wholly reasonable expectations down somewhat when I say no, not either, and not at all.
Excitement is an emotion that rarely visits me, usually saved for spare moments during races when things are really clicking. This isn't to say I live the rest of my days mired in some sort of semi-depressed lethargy, just that the thrill of racing well is a heightened experience not likely to be duplicated in everyday life. What I'm saying, basically, is that the racer's high kicks the shit out of the supposed runner's high. Once you've tasted that chemical cocktail, not much else gives you the same rise.
As for nervousness, I suppose I'm just arrogant. I assume I got the job because I deserve it, that their faith in me is well placed, and that I'll perform well. Furthermore, I'm aware that expectations always start low, and that I'll have days of training before really being asked to do anything taxing. When those challenges do come, again, I think I'll handle them. In business, as life, confidence does more for you than humility; the latter is lauded but never really rewarded.
I am, mostly, thinking about where I will go to get coffee over my lunch hour. Priorities.
Priorities indeed. I think it's the little things, like that, that get you through the day, ultimately, so of course you're going to prioritise them.
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