December 13, 2010


"I am not tired," I said. My reflection said otherwise. It was a disheveled man that looked back at me. Hair cast mostly to the side, but so haphazardly as to appear completely accidental. There were circles as well, those omnipresent semi-spheres which underline tired eyes. I leaned forward, arms bracing against the sink. Closer inspection yielded no different evidence - only a quiet confirmation.

I would complain about the cold, about finals, about papers or a million other things; but they would be hollow complaints. And so I zipped my coat, put on my gloves, quickly lamented my lack of headwear, and made for the door. There were - and still are - things to do. And things have a way, sadly, of not getting done unless you make some sort of proactive effort. Those first steps out the front door - beating the sun, and whatever tidbit of warmth it may have offered - were my first effort, easier by far than the steps to come.

"So you had a coffee, right?" That's the pending question. Or at least it would be mine, were I not the one writing this. I'm the guy who has devoted thousands of words to espousing coffee as a near-panacea. It boosts temperatures, the mind and the body.

But no. No, I haven't had coffee yet today. My bed was warm, and the air outside it decidedly was not. And so I stayed under the covers, until it was no longer possible to do so. 7:30 finals have a way of rousing even the most drowsy of persons.

The final is done now, and I've completed my morning facebook obligations. I wanted a coffee, but wanted more to write something without. I try, mostly, to keep my posts from drifting towards journal territory. I don't want this blog to be a a "Here's what I did today!" affair. But creative, quality content doesn't come from nothing. Moreover, even when inspirational material abounds, it takes a certain mental state to piece it all together in to something resembling a coherent strain of thoughts.

For me to attain that mental state, I don't need coffee - though it certainly helps. I do need to feel my hands, however, which I'm having a hard time doing at the moment. And I need to be able to keep my eyes open, and head off the keyboard. In sum, I need a nap. Or perhaps a workout. Or, more than likely, both. Following, of course, as much coffee as I can reasonably consume in the next thirty minutes or so.

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